Adding a Techno Beat Does Not a Remix Make: DJ Scratch Coffee Table

DJCoffeeTableDJ nights are like a-holes: everyone’s got one. At least, every had one until we all stopped caring about your DJ night at Club Spit N’ Shine on Tuesday nights. All the $1 Hamm’s in the world isn’t going to get me to come, either. And why would I when I can just stay at home and pretend to be a DJ (just like you’re doing) with the Scratch Coffee Table ($850)? Wow, sorry dude. That was a little harsh…but you deserve it if you think being a DJ means splicing techno and punk into a “hot new dance track, y’all.”

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