Believe Me, this is Hypothetical


But what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you? (+3 points to the first person that @s me with the movie that quote is from WITHOUT Google.) Of course a stock option equity sharing program would do something for me! In this economy, HELL YES! Where do I sign? Sorry to lie to you again (I promise I won’t make a habit out of it), but you won’t find that here. What I can do for you is discuss other hypothetical situations.

You missed that article about how to properly stow your specs in your suit (lens faces in). You forgot to take your your sunglasses out of your back pocket (we’ve all done it so don’t deny it). You left your shades on the table at the restaurant (it could be worse; you could have been the dbag that left them on).

The end result is always the same, f@$#ed (I don’t support censorship, but we here at The Lure market to all audiences dammit! Oops.) up sunglasses. How are you going to get buy without the ability to block out the harmful rays from the sun? More importantly, how will you get buy without the ability to look cool? Or change your appearance to evade authority figures? The solution is really quite simple. In case you didn’t Sherlock Holmes my use of homophones, you buy, buy, buy.  Get more than one pair of sunglasses. Hell, get three. Or five. Who cares if they are EXACTLY the same if you like them? No one has to know.

So what’s with the pictures if this is just purely a rant about getting more pairs of sunglasses? What if you like to rock Armani sunglasses (you are a braver man than I)? It is not exactly “cost-effective” to buy more than one pair of Armani sunglasses. I’m going to go all “guy at the church who promised you he could find you Christian music regardless of what you were into” on you. Look at those two pairs of glasses and tell me which one is Armani. The pair on the top costs $200. The pair on the bottom costs $200. For SEVEN pairs. You can wear a different pair of the same glasses every day of the week. There wouldn’t be much point, but you could it if you were so inclined. The first time I wore my IS Design Royal shades my buddy’s exact words were “Dude, you didn’t take me with when you went to buy Armani glasses?” The prosecution rests.

-Ben (@CobaltInfinity)


2 responses to “Believe Me, this is Hypothetical

  1. office space.

  2. Cobalt Infinity

    Damnit! You had that before I even finished editing the picture layout!

    I hereby officially award you +3 points.

    Unless you cheated. In that case, I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

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