I was railing my Integra on the way up to the hills this past Labor Day weekend, prompting my friend riding with me to ask, “Who are you channeling right now?” With no delay in response or double-clutching, I spit out, “Brian. Earl. Spilner.” I took a huge swig from my NOS Energy Drink, downshifted, and proceeded past the cars in the right lane. I like driving fast. I love the Fast and The Furious movies. I enjoy energy drinks, regardless of the fact they are most likely ripping my insides to shreds. While NOS is a quality elixir, it is by no means my fave. And seeing as how even the Simpsons have their own energy drinks, why hasn’t the F&F franchise gotten on that train?
Could you imagine? “Hey, bro, what are you drinking?” “Oh, this? Toretto Fuel. Gets me pumped. Pumped enough to drive a Charger that scares the hell out of me. HIGH FIVE!” I could be in charge of marketing, even. Fast & Furious Energy Drinks: Winning is Winning. That’s just ripe for production.In the meantime, I will be ordering the Simpsons-themed stuff so I can stay up even later watching their DVDs. How literal. Like a forklift lifting a crate of forks.