An ode to the landlocked sea lover and 90s nostalic: The Wooden Mariner Box and Zack Morris Art

I got it in my head this year to get family and friends gifts they’d never expect. Be it that authentic prison art, a vintage baseball bat, a picture of Zack Morris’s shoes (yes, I found it), or some other item of complete nonsense that may actually border on thoughtful. Neigh, it is actually more thoughtful, as gifts of this caliber require actual thought, gauging the shock and awe on the faces of recipients. I know my father enjoys the golf accessories I usually pack into boxes and wrap up for him each year, but imagine the look when he opens the Wooden Mariner Box. “So, Dad, let me explain. Okay, I know you have shown no particular interest in sea travel, nor did you grow up on the coast, but come on! How cool is this thing? It’s got a compass, a telescope, scale, levels, sight vane, and clinometer for determining angles and slope. I know! A clinometer! You’ve always wanted that. Or at least you never knew you did until now. Now you’re going to wonder how you ever lived without it.”

And while I’ve been on somewhat of an art-kick these past few days, as well, I know a handful of kids that would appreciate a bit of 90s nostalgia on the walls of their place. Good conversation starter, really, and isn’t that just the gift that keeps on giving? That’s the good thing about a print, assuming the recipient hangs it up; Every time they see it, or someone asks about it, you’re obliged to say, “Oh my brother (or friend, depending on the situation), Will, got that for me last Christmas. You like it?” The natural response would be, “Are you kidding? Zack’s shoes immortalized on your wall? I’ve been looking for someone like you forever! That Will sounds like a swell guy!” Aww, thanks.

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