Tuesdays with the pretty girls: Manscaping.

Urban Dictionary has three definitions of “Manscaping,” one of which I am familiar with. I don’t initially think of the “below the belt” reference when I hear the word, but apparently, many do. To each their own.

Q: Manscaping…Where should a guy fall on the manscaping spectrum? ‘Smooth like a baby’, ‘Sasquatch’ or somewhere between? Details into where to trim, pluck, shave and grow would be appreciated. – Josh P.

Here's my breakdown: 1. "Down there" - Smooth and bare are preferred, but a neat trim is acceptable too if you're afraid of cutting your balls with a razor. 2. Chest, stomach, back and ass - Smooth and hair-free. 3. Face - I don't mind a little scruff at all. In fact, I find a guy sexier with a little facial hair. So yes to both scruff and clean-shaven. 4. Arms and legs - 'Au naturel', i.e. keep the hair and no need to Nair. 5. Miscellaneous: Nose, eyebrows, ears and toes - Use common grooming sense. If your hair is starting to curl in any of these places and looks gnarly, it's time for a one-on-one session with the tweezers. We take care of ourselves, so at the very least, men should return the favor.

It depends on the guy. I'm not opposed to it, but most men look best clean shaven, but every once in a while a little change up isn't bad. Just as long as the manscaping is tasteful.

Personally speaking, when it comes to furry gents versus non, I prefer non. Don't get me wrong, I don't want him to look like a chick, with brows sculpted like Bruno. Afterall, slightly disheveled hair and a bit of stubble is ruggedly sexy. For overall grooming, here's a simple rule of thumb: keep eveything where it should be, and everything in check. You should have two eyebrows, not one. Trim rogue hairs as necessary. I don't want to be poked in the eye by a stray brow or (God forbid) nose hair. And unless you are Michael Phelps or Lance Armstrong, there is never, ever, justification for shaving your legs. Period.

I love mountain like men, not boys. Back hair is gross, remove immeditately. Chest hair is fine, but should be fairly trimmed. I know down there is a sensitive subject and it is painful, so just trim it. No need for all this waxing and baby like skin. Remember, men should be rugged.

Alright, men, I'll keep it easy for you. Just use a number 2 or 3. And surprise her with an occasional scrotum wax if she likes to...um...go there.

Hair on a man is a sensitive subject and one on which opinions differ greatly. I personally, don't like my guy resembling an ape. Instead i'd go for Michael Phelps who just happens to be my perfect man, when it comes to the amount of body hair. I understand completely that these are unrealistic expectations and too much maintenance for any guy to handle. I guess when it comes to facial hair, keep it clean and don't take notes from Brad Pitt and his crazy goat look. Eyebrows, there should be two. From the neck down, depends on your lady, but one thing I can't stand is armpit hair. Nasty. To sum it up, make sure to keep it clean and remember, nowhere on your body should hair grow wild, sasquatch-style (unless it's on your skull and that's the looks you're going for).


Have a question for the girls? Email it to Animal.Masks@Gmail.com.


11 responses to “Tuesdays with the pretty girls: Manscaping.

  1. Scrotum wax…wow, I wouldn’t even know how to ask for that.

    • momentumoffailure

      Yeah. I’m okay buying condoms and, hell, tampons when the lady of the house needs them, but I’ve yet to get the courage to walk into a place and say, “One scrotum wax, please.”

  2. haha, You’d need to research…
    Also, I’m surprised how many panelists do not like hair on men. The only hair I don’t like is back hair and unibrows. I LOVE a little chest hair and a healthy happy trail. And as far as trimming pubes- if you don’t feel like it, who cares! If the sex is good, that’s what matters.

  3. No love for the chest hair I see.

    I keep all body hair under control but there is no way I’d even consider fully removing my chest hair. I can’t even imagine the amount of itchiness after it started growing back.

  4. I’m with Nicole. I personally love the scruff…I want a man not a 12 year old. And well…if we’re going south there ain’t no shame in being exposed either…heyoo!

  5. An ex of mine is quite hairy. He likes it that way. I’ve tweezed the middle of his eyebrows when I could see hairs, but I also enjoyed tweezing for him/the general act of grooming him. But he was generally very good about keeping them in check as well as taking care of that unnattractive hair that grows on the bottom of a guy’s head and extends to the neck. At first, I’d tease him to shave his chest, but then just got over it- his chest/stomach at least made for a comfy pillow.

    • momentumoffailure

      Wait, are you my ex? She would do the same. Not that I needed it, but more so for the fact she enjoyed the act of doing it. I admit to having had my eyebrows waxed once. Yeah I won’t be doing that again. Oh to be 24 again.

  6. I love light chest hair when I lie on a man’s chest. Feels manly on my fingerssssss.

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