Tuesdays with the Pretty Girls: Is he gay or just well-dressed?

Mr. McQueen got the ladies

Q: Why do most women, especially here state-side, automatically assume fashionable men to be homosexual, even if we don’t give them a reason to assume so?J. Jean

I don’t think that all women do, just most. Maybe it’s because I know a lot of metrosexual men that its not really an assumption. For me, I prefer a man that likes to look good. If you want us to look good, then you should look; and looking good does not include Ed Hardy or Affliction wear.

I don’t think most women assume well dressed men are gay. And if they do, then they obviously have bigger issues to deal with and should stop judging a man in wing tips and a bow tie.

Personally, I don’t assume this when I see a well-dressed man.  However, for the women who do make this assumption, it’s because they rarely come across a straight man who knows how to dress himself.  Bottom line is that finding a well dressed straight man is like finding money on the street.  It’s rare, surprising and can make your day a little brighter by letting you believe there is hope for the rest of the straight male population.

Well-dressed homosexual men outnumber straight men. That’s a fact, albeit one I hope is changing. We’re surprised when a fashionable guy is straight because it is a rarity; straight men have too long been the bearers of ill-fitting tent shirts, graphic tees, mandals and baggy jeans. Since there is a lack of dapper straight men in the world, when I meet a well-dressed guy I doubt he’s straight because in my experience, he rarely is. Yet, I hold out hope for straight men who wear tailored clothes that actually fit. And honestly, most women don’t make a judgment call based solely on a guy’s slim-fit oxford; there’s more to it than that.

In personal experience with being well-dressed, I’ve had to justify my heterosexuality more to other males versus the female contingent. I suppose it has something to do with knowing a lot of jock-esque folks and having a penchant for attending sporting events. Oh well, you adapt no? Hope this helps….

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9 responses to “Tuesdays with the Pretty Girls: Is he gay or just well-dressed?

  1. I’m totally with Becs on this one!

    Live Love LA

  2. Been dealing with this my entire life. More on the male side, than the female side but still. Being a musician and a jock didn’t bode well for me in high school. Constant justification. Great question and one that I hope will cease to exist in the near future.

  3. I’ve come across this issue a couple of times personally and my reasoning was mainly as Sara said, the well dressed straight man has basically had that tag hanging over them for the better part of the last two decades. There was a time when guys (ok fine, they were mainly rock stars) would dress outlandishly and flamboyantly and attract all kinds of women. These days, wearing squared toed shoes and oversized blazers are the norm for getting by and being successful in any arena.

    I know for a fact these ladies from the panel would judge character over wardrobe but in my opinion, sad to say, A LOT of other women stateside don’t think this way. The latter aren’t the ones on my radar. Not to be judgmental but just look at how the significant others are dressed? Most of the proof is right there.

  4. Laguna Beach Trad

    You can’t really blame the women.

    Here in Southern California at least, most of the men these women meet in singles bars and clubs are total douchebags who leave their shirts untucked (for fear of looking gay or square), sport flared Diesel jeans, and wear Kenneth Cole square-toed shoes. Plus, they wax their chests and sculpt their eyebrows. WTF?!

    So it’s only natural that females are confused when confronted with a real dude who thinks for himself, who refuses to toe the douchebag sartorial line. To them, there must be something wrong with him.

    On another note, please tell R. from LA that she is a complete hottie.

  5. I too have had to deal with this most of my life, but mostly from men, including friends who would use it as ‘c*ck block’,” oh him, yeah, gay…”

    But I don’t think this is the case anymore. A lot has changed in the last 20 years since I graduated high school.

    I just moved to a small town (pop. 16,000), and I haven’t gotten ‘your gay right ?’ from a woman once, if anything they kind of flock to me because not everything I own is a sport jersey or Gortex. Oh also I’m prob 1 of 20 Asians in the whole town so that’s a feat in itself.

    And taking about Ed Hardy and Affliction or Jersey Shore types , if you took that crap off them they look they should be waving the rainbow flag.

  6. Living in a college student congested city, I see a lot of schlumpy sweats on guys during the week and then the typical weekend outfit of a poorly fitted button down (untucked), faded baggy jeans, tacky black shoes or sneakers and basic hair. There seems to be an epidemic of not being able to dress respectably these days. So unfortunately, many women (who often are in desperate need of style assistance themselves) are simply used to having the men that flirt with them looking, well, basic. For me, and many other smart women out there, a guy with a sense of style and individuality is a must. It’s a reflection of their personality and sets them apart from the herd of typical men. I say hail to all men who are brave enough to let themselves dress like gentlemen, no matter what responses they may receive.

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  8. I realize that there may be women out there who think they can define someone’s sexual preference by the looks of their outfit on that given day, but those women need to also realize that there are plenty of wonderful homosexual men who don’t dress all that special.

  9. I used to work in retail, and tend to dress better than most of my college friends, and yeah, I got it too. Of course, this most often came from a dude who slept with a fraction of the women I did. Go figure.

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