Tuesdays with the Pretty Girls: Have Confidence, not Arrogance.

“Are Confidence and Self Assurance the ultimate aphrodisiacs?”

Eli Getson

There is nothing sexier than a confident guy as long as that confidence doesn’t become arrogance. Arrogance is a huge turn off in my book, yet the other extreme isn’t much better. If he constantly needs reassurance and for me to build up his confidence… Well, no thank you.

No, not necessarily. While both qualities are great to have, I think that if one is over confident or self assured you may come across pretentious or conceded which is a complete turn off. There is a difference between knowing who you are, what you believe in, and are not afraid to be yourself to having a confidence and self assurance with nothing to back it up.

Confidence is an attractive quality. The most attractive? That’s more difficult. There is something quite appealing about a guy who knows who he is, what he wants and where he’s headed. A self-assured, decent looking gent is much more interesting than a ridiculously good looking one plagued with self-doubt. Confidence alone isn’t enough, however, to make us swoon. A confident jerk is still a jerk. Attitude can be the swing factor, though; it is often the difference between the nice guy who forever lives in the friend zone and the charming guy who piques our interest.

They’re not the ultimate aphrodisiacs, but a man with confidence is certainly a turn-on. While confidence may be the ‘x’ factor in the bedroom equation, you must still have the goods/skills/moves to back up the confidence.

Yes, there’s something that’s attractive about those qualities. I find it charming and it draws me in. I’m a woman who’s confident and I would need someone who can compliment me. But it’s not to be confused with cockiness.

Alright, that makes sense. So there’s a fine line between arrogance and confidence. One this is for sure, it would seem: Self-deprecation is a turn off.

Got a question? Submit it today.


5 responses to “Tuesdays with the Pretty Girls: Have Confidence, not Arrogance.

  1. Backing it up is just as important! I hate a cocky man who I can see through. In fact, that’s probably THE BIGGEST turnoff of all time.

    Live Love LA

  2. That’s why I’m never cocky, whenever I meet a girl I’m sure to pull out her chair, open doors for her, and lend her my coat if it’s cold outside. Now of course I charge for these services because I mean, really, I’m just way too damn awesome to be doing this sort of stuff for free, but I think you get my point.

  3. Self-deprecation is the worst. I had a friend who ended up being my friend’s eventual ex boyfriend and he had a horrible case of self-deprecation to the point where I couldn’t talk to him. Also, don’t act confident for the sake of it.

    • momentumoffailure

      Both valid points. Know when you’re not in charge, but know when you are. It’s a fine line, like we’ve seen. But for crying out loud all you self-deprecating bastards, get a handle on life and realize no one wants to be around mopey slobs.

  4. Hah, I’m the mopiest guy ever. I don’t know how to be more confident. Maybe I should start by being less reclusive.

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