Tuesdays with the Pretty Girls: Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

It’s an adage as old as time itself and also a fairly good Green Day song (not in question form), but inquiring minds wants to know…

Do Nice Guys Finish Last?Branden “Skip” Brooks

Maybe I’m overly optimistic or naive but I like to think they don’t. However, if by ‘nice’ you mean ‘doormat’ then the answer is yes. As previously stated by our panel, confidence and a healthy dose of self-assurance will get you far, and both are possible while still being good-hearted. In fact, it takes more brashness to be a nice guy who doesn’t hide behind arrogance and narcissism. And yes, there are ladies out there that want a nice guy; one who can hold his own.

Yes, nice guys do tend to end up in the friend zone.  How do you avoid the friend zone?  Have some edge; don’t be a pushover; basically, act like a man and not a boy.  Straddle the line between nice and respectful and you’ll finish first in the long run.  Cross the line into being too kiss ass and you will not only come across as desperate, but you will lose steam, not finish the race, and consequently disqualify yourself from even being considered for the friend zone.

I think the phrase “nice guy” has been misused over the years and the “nice guys” that we refer to these days are actually just scared of girls. So when you hear “he is just too nice,” it means that he can’t make a move and therefore putting it all on the girl and making her responsible for the advancement of this relationship. It’s no wonder these “nice guys” finish last. It’s because they are afraid of rejection, leaving it up to the girl and making her wear the pants.  I’ve had plenty of encounters with guys who were “nice” and they were quickly put in the “friend” category, only because they couldn’t man up.

Yes, they do. It’s so hard to find an honest, kind, genuine guy in the 21st century. So, if he’s a legit dude, don’t let go.

I like the idea of manning up, myself.

Got a question? Ask away.

5 responses to “Tuesdays with the Pretty Girls: Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

  1. Fact, nice guys are doormats. Fact, bad boys have pop insensitivity. Fact, Bad boys burn the girl in the end. Fact, nice guys always lose in the short-term. Solution, If you want someone bad enough skip the b.s. and move in for the kill. I’ve always said I’d rather regret errors in what I’ve said, over the mistake of not saying it. But even bad boys can meet a match, it’s the clever guy that knows how to move in step– not step aside.

  2. I think one can be a respectful gentleman and be desirable to women at the same time.

    I agree with Kate in that what we’ve come to think of as a “nice guy” is one who doesn’t take charge and more or less lets things happen to him.

    A respectful but confident guy who makes things happen is a man: the kind women want to be with.

  3. momentumoffailure

    There’s a line between pushover and gentleman. One can spoil the object of their desire with apt gifts, etc. and offer to do sweet nothings or be the dude a girl goes to when she needs her dog walked while she goes shopping with friends.

    • That’s the broader point, but in essence the very point. The key is communication. Be it spoken word, or in overall carriage. Communicate your interest but reserve yourself. Be a gentleman but don’t be a fool. Nobody cares to be smothered, but everyone appreciates a little attention now and again. Don’t be a jerk, but keep your priorities in order. Listen; the rules of attraction aren’t black and white. Every person and every situation is different. Don’t give more then your getting in return. A girl wants a man not a safety net.

  4. Most guys who complain that girls don’t like nice guys aren’t actually “nice guys.” Instead, they’re clingy, insecure, desperate for approval, and act like they’re entitled to a relationship/love/sex because of their inchoate “niceness.” And, of course, if you’re going around feeling as though you deserve something for behavior that should be expected of any decent guy, you’ve completely nullified the effectiveness of what seems to be the only thing you’ve got going.

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