Tuesdays with the Pretty Girls: A Nice Guy Can Play Hard to Get, Right?

“Last week, you ladies said the nice guys need to make moves in order to get noticed. Fine, totally get it and agree. But what if the move doesn’t work or the girl is just clueless? There’s something to be said for tact; i.e. not just going up to a girl of interest and saying, ‘I LIKE YOU.” What’s a good way to get the point across without be overly desperate/obvious about it? Us men like to play a little hard to get, too…” – G.A.

I can see how guys struggle with this. It’s a tricky balance. Plus a lot of men and women are pretty clueless when it comes to picking up on hints. Personally, it always flies way over my head, so I’m not very knowledgeable on the topic. All I know is that I don’t like games. I don’t like lines or pick-ups. I like genuine men.  Physical signs tend to be pretty potent too. Keeping eye contact is always a must. Lean in a bit, like you don’t want to miss a word she’s saying. Try and keep your shoulders and hips pointed towards her at all times, it shows her you are aware of her presence even from across the room. Rest a gentle hand on the small of her back when moving through a crowd. And above all be a gentleman and be civil. You don’t have to open the door for her, but tell her she looks beautiful and say thank you when she holds the door open for you!

The number one tip is be consistent. You meet a woman, hit it off and tell her you’ll call her. Actually calling when you say you’ll call may seem like a no-brainer, but it goes a long way when you are first starting to date and shows you are interested.  After the first date, playing the phone game is where you either can come across as desperate or play a little hard to get.  Desperate = calling her right after you just left her.  Do not do it.  Normally, I think the unwritten “3-day rule” is a good one to follow.  If you go out on a great date Fri./Sat. night, I’d wait until Tues./Wed. to call and see if she wants to get together again.  If you don’t catch her and need to leave a voicemail message, the ball is in her court to return your call.  Do not follow up with a second call thinking she didn’t get your message.  She got it and if you never hear from her, she’s politely trying to brush you off.

Tact should always be a factor when telling your crush that you digg them.  There is a time and place for everything. I tend to be one of those clueless girls unless it is brought to my attention that you’re trying to be something more. Therefore, tell but only when it is the right time.

It is possible to let a girl know you’re interested while still playing a little hard to get. Both gents and gals want a challenge, and everyone appreciates something (or someone) they have to work for. The key: pursue the girl of interest with confidence, but don’t give the appearance of having nothing else going on in your life.  If you persist and she doesn’t respond then move on. Girls are generally not clueless; most have a keen intuition and can tell when a guy is interested. If she ‘doesn’t get it,’ she’s likely not interested.

I run into this predicament quite often. Chivalry and being the “nice guy” can put you in the friend zone, indeed.

Got a question? Ask away.

2 responses to “Tuesdays with the Pretty Girls: A Nice Guy Can Play Hard to Get, Right?

  1. Pingback: Define physical attraction? Or what does it mean when you have sparks with someone?

  2. From my experience as a guy, don’t try to play hard to get. I wasn’t catching signals that a girl was giving me and she assumed that I was playing hard to get and lost interest. To me she was giving mix signals? (don’t know if it was intentional or not), but either way guys and gals need to be up front and not play games like their still in high school.

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