Opening Day 2010 – Coors Field: Boat shoes, hot dogs, good times.

Coors Field - Not season tickets.

Tonight’s the night. We’ve all been waiting anxiously here in the Rocky Mountain State for opening day. It’s been far too long since last season. Sure, if you live in Milwaukee, opening day has come and gone. But yours was on a Monday. Ours? Friday. Definitely. Regardless. It’s time for mild nights under the bright lights and hot days in the scorching sun drinking $7.25 Coors Lights, kickin about in polos, shorts and boat shoes (Allen Edmonds Sandlots if you got the $125 – $130), surrounded by 20,000 of your closest friends. If I see you out there, say hey. I’m usually in good spirits at the park, granted the Rockies are winning, or I was able to get the flask past security. Afterwards, it’s off to Steve’s Snappin’ for some signature Rockies Dogs if we haven’t had our fill at the field.

Essential: Jerky – Born in the USA

Breakfast of Champions, in a pinch

Some time back I made friends with Doug and a few people behind Jerky.com. Nice blokes to boot. Over the course of our back-and-forths and knowing my affinity for the dried meat, they’ve been nice enough to send me a slew of product pro-bono. The latest batch is also their newest, bags of sweet & spicy orange and mango. But since I forgot breakfast this morning, I got into the mango variety, calling it glorified bacon which gave a proper excuse to eat jerky before 8am. I still got the orange, though, unopened and ready for whoever wants it. Just comment why you want the meat, and I will pick a lucky winner. If you want to bypass that and snag a bag now from the Born in the USA company, you can do that, too.

Spencer’s Jerky

Beef Jerky

Turkey Jerky

Real meat from the USA.

The Momentum Top 10 of 2009: #3 & #2 – The Hangover Cure / Tactical Bacon & Turkey Jerky

2009 was indeed the year of box wine around my household. I would rather not try to count how many chardonnay-filled cardboard holders I went through, as I am sure it would just make me feel awful. But, other than living my life a quarter mile at a time, I live it, too, with no regrets. Onwards and upwards, I always say. At any rate, some of the mornings after partaking in the glory that comes from a box, saw me couch-ridden, not wanting to move a muscle. This year, though, I was lucky enough to have a few samples of The Hangover Cure sent my direction. While I don’t subscribe to herbal remedies (I like my western medicine, thanks), I put THC to the test and found it actually did the trick. The only snag, now, is that given it is New Year’s Eve, I was lax in requesting a few more vials of the powder to stave off what I am, sure is going to a less-than-pleasant morning tomorrow.

This was also the year of free meat. I have made no secret of my love of a bag of jerky and/or a morning filled with bacony goodness. Yessir, 2009 was quite the year. Thanks to some connections I made via what the kids are calling “Twitter,” I had a few kids swing me a hookup with ThinkGeek, seeing a can of Tactical Bacon show up on my doorstep one day along with a few other bacon-themed items. Nothing at all sounds appetizing about canned bacon, but it was surprisingly not too bad. It tasted like, well, bacon. Unfortunately, the bacon gumballs, too, tasted like the cured meat, which was not so great. I was also fortunate enough to be contacted by the folks at Jerky.com, who in turn hooked me up with a few bags of their turkey jerky, one of which went to a reader via a contest awhile back. Free meat and beating hangovers: 2009, you certainly had some good plans for me, even if I remember only, maybe, half of them.

ATTENTION: Manly men and women who like meat

Off the heels of the Southern Style Holiday Giveaway comes another giveaway contest courtesy of my friends at Jerky.com. About two weeks ago, I got the orange slip of regret in my mailbox, meaning I had to go to the dreaded post office to pickup a parcel. As much as the trip did indeed suck, it was fruitful as all get out. Doug and crew sent a care package full of meat to me quite unexpectedly, and I, in turn, want to do the same for one lucky reader. Say you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping or are having trouble finding the perfect gift for the person who has everything… Or you just want a huge bag of meat for yourself…Now’s your chance to get your teeth into some. Your vegetarian friends, too, will get a kick out this under their fake pine while drinking lactose-free eggnog and eating tofurkey.

Alright, so that’s a little mean, and I’m not here to burn bridges, take sides, or harsh on anyone’s lifestyle. I should clarify: if you think Billboard naming Nickelback “Band of the Decade,” you’re on you own. I in no way can support that decision, now will I accept any justification thereof. Coming off my high horse, I know a good number of people in my day-to-day that would benefit from a heaping portion of snack sticks. Given what my brother got me for my birthday, I know he would be most deserving. But further than that, think about the thrill and sparkle in your significant others’ eyes as she unwraps this. It’s time like these, friends, that you just can’t put a price-tag on.

HOW TO ENTER:
1. TWEET the status in bold below on www.Twitter.com, the more you tweet the more chances you have to win!
A jerky Christmas! @jerkycom and @momentumfailure want you to meet your meat. http://tinyurl.com/yalfmdw

2. OR – Comment below with who this gift bag o’ meat would be a perfect gift for (you can say yourself).

3. Win.

DETAILS:
I’ll select the winner on Thursday, December 24, 2009. This contest will end Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009 at 11:59p.m.

For more information on Jerky.com and to snag some gifts for friends and family, because the whole world loves jerky, visit any one of the sites below.

Beef Jerky

Beef Sticks

Gift Ideas

And one last thing, which I think is sort of the proverbial icing on the cake that is life itself, if you do order some fine, sweet meat, use coupon code MOMENTUM and the shipping up to Priority at no additional cost, delivering it in 2-3 days. If you order by noon CST on Monday, December 21, it will arrive by Thursday. Christmas eve. Deal, Howie. Deal.

Momentum goes out: Sneak peek of Smashburger in Aurora, CO

Especially in this economy, right? Especially. That’s right. I was invited to attend the sneak peek of Smashburger’s new locale in Aurora last evening. As crappy as Aurora is (it is nothing like Wayne Campbell’s hood), the new digs for one of my fave burger joints is quite nice. Sure, it shares a parking lot with a hooters frequented by, what I witnessed as some pretty white-trashy folk, but that not withstanding, the journey to the infamous part of town proved fruitful. How in good conscious could I turn down a free dinner?

I ordered my usual Smashchicken with the addition of some fries and guac (it was all free) but regrettably didn’t stay there to eat. I would have, but my guest didn’t end up coming with me, and I opted not to be that gentleman in the corner eating alone. Flying solo, though, did allow me the opportunity to not only strike up titillating conversation with a member of Smash’s PR firm (quite the cutie, I might add), as well as one of the owners of the entire chain. I went, bow tie and all, which is how the PR gal recognized me, as I promised to don the neckwear. All in all, it was an enjoyable experience, though I will probably rarely visit the Aurora spot, as there is one not a 1/4 mile from my office. However, if you find yourself out that way (Parker Rd and Yale), I suggest stopping in. Also, very nice restroom facilities. Just saying…

– Will